I Should Not Be Allowed To Vlog Ever

Look! A video! BECAUSE I AM A TERRIBLE PERSON.

But seriously, do not feel obligated to waste your time watching this thing because I have no idea why I decided to do this and also IT'S 11 MINUTES LONG, which should not be allowed to happen but somehow IT DID.

It was originally 20 minutes, because that's about how long my morning drive takes, but there is absolutely no way I'm letting you waste 20 minutes of your life listening to me talk about how I found my jacket yesterday morning or what would happen if I crashed into a cactus.

Actually, you still get to hear me talk about that stuff, but for half as long. You might wanna change the video quality to 720. Or you might not, I don't know. The video runs really choppy for me, but that may just be my computer. REGARDLESS, HERE.




After watching this, I learned that I tend to accidentally make the most incredible HERP DERP faces while talking. I think the low angle helps. I would not have it any other way.

I would also like to say that I tried to upload this directly to blogger, but after literally HOURS, it still refused to load completely. Even my blog doesn't want this thing on the internet. TOO BAD, I HAVE A YOUTUBE ACCOUNT, SO.

I don't know how many times I had to watch this damn thing while editing it, so by now I am absolutely sick of my voice and feel sorry for anyone who actually watched the whole thing.

Now, the video was taken Monday morning (obviously), so TODAY I actually took that test I was talking about. There were eight problems, and for the first 7 I was like HEY WAIT I KNOW HOW TO DO THIS STUFF (MOSTLY)



And then I got to the last problem and I was just like OH IS THIS A JOKE



SERIOUSLY

WHAT ARE YOU

But otherwise, assuming I can get partial credit for the stupid mistakes I probably made on every problem, I SHOULD be kinda ok? I certainly didn't FAIL. I think. Anyway, ambiguous fate is better than certain doom, so I'm happy with this.

ALSO, today the whole family got together and went out to eat. I would elaborate, but I ate SO MUCH FOOD that I don't think I could manage talking about it. Just. It never happened. I'm just going to pretend the eating part NEVER HAPPENED.

In fact, I'm just not gonna say anything at all. I am literally too sick to even type right now. UUUUGGGH

Calculus: WEEKEND COMMENCE

I promise I'll stop opening all my blogs with CALCULUS

as soon as it stops being amusing to me.

Today is my Friday! It's actually Thursday, but I don't have classes on Friday so THURSDAY IS THE NEW FRIDAY.

THURSDAY, THURSDAY, GOTTA GET DOWN ON THURSDAY.

Yknow how everyone is a total ass to my teacher for no reason? Well, today, in the middle of a complicated problem that involved a lot of backtracking and doublechecking, this one guy in the back of the class just lets out the most absurdly exaggerated sigh of his LIFE in frustration. Like straight up SIIIIIIIIIIGGGHHHHHHH.

But instead of the rest of the class being all like I AGREE WITH THE IMPLICATIONS OF SUCH A SIGH, everyone, including the teacher, just turns and looks at the guy like


And so the guy goes like


And then everyone was just like OK UH--BACK TO MATH, RIGHT, OK, COOL. MATH.

And then at the end of the day, we got out 40 minutes early! The teacher was all like I'M NOT TEACHING ANYMORE BUT YOU CAN STAY IF YOU WANT AND DO HOMEWORK OR SOMETHING

And I'm like OH LET ME THINK ABOUT THAT FOR A MINUTE. Sit in a freezing plastic chair and do more math, or FROLIC IN THE SUNSHINE.

I think we both know the answer to that question.



It's nothing personal, just. Yknow. Math.

So that concludes my first week in CALCULUS. Despite the obvious "THIS ISN'T MATH THIS IS GREEK--SERIOUSLY WE'RE WRITING IN GREEK HERE HOW IS THIS MATH" moments, the class has actually turned out better than I expected. 4 hours a day for 4 days a week aint so bad after all!

I do have an exam on Tuesday, though.


I have an exam on EVERY Tuesday, to be precise. On the one hand, hey, long weekends forever, but on the other hand, TUESDAY. I'm probably going to end up studying frantically over the weekend so that when I get to class I'll be so disoriented that I can't even find my chair.

My chair is RIGHT next to the door but I'll probably get to class and be all like

And I don't even WEAR glasses.

Oh well. Here's hoping I can teach myself limits and derivatives over the weekend...?

TO CONCLUDE, since I never leave you any music anymore, here. Aside from the chorus, DOESN'T THIS SOUND LIKE RADIOHEAD?


IT SOUNDS LIKE RADIOHEAD DOESN'T IT.

Calculus: Why I Can't Even

So, Calculus again today.



To be fair, I have to admit that today was a vast improvement from yesterday. I actually got to sit in a chair today, although I accidentally chose the seat behind "I-have-really-poofed-up-hair-and-am-going-to-turn-my-head-in-confusion-blocking-your-view-everytime-you-need-to-see-something-on-the-board-because-I-don't-have-a-soul" kid.

He doesn't know I call him that. That stays between us, internet.

But yes, otherwise, a vast improvement. In only two days, I went from OH MY GOD THIS IS THE WORST WHY AM I HERE WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS SERIOUSLY I DON'T EVEN


To merely what is this I don't even...?



Now obviously I still can't even, BUT I'LL GET THERE. WHATEVER IT TAKES, MAN. I mean, I'm learning fast. I've already figured out what Calculus is.


Dark magic, to be specific.

But enough about that. It's dangerous stuff and it's not safe to talk about for extended periods of time. I mean, I'M already cursed with Calculus, but you guys still have a chance. DON'T LET IT GET YOU. Hide yo kids, hide yo wife, AND hide yo husbands, cause they calculating E'ERBODY OUT HERE.

I'm also hearing a lot of talk from several people in the class-that-must-not-be-named. College talk, to be specific. Bad college talk, to be specificer. Bad college talk about the UofA, to be specificest.

Nothing serious, just that EVERYBODY EVER in this one kid's Chemistry class FAILED EVERYTHING ALWAYS FOREVER. Also, all of the teachers are asses, apparently.

BUT THEN AGAIN, this information came from the kids who were very unsympathetic to our poor tiny math nerd teacher. SO WHO KNOWS. I'm not gonna let it faze me. I'm still going into the whole college thing with absurd expectations, so. MY MORALE IS NOT SO EASY TO CRUSH, CHILDREN. LET THIS BE A LESSON TO YOU ALL.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have...witchcraft to get to.

And by that, I mean...you know.

Calculus: IT BEGINS

TODAY I WENT TO CALCULUS

AND THEN I GOT OUT OF CALCULUS

ALIVE

CLEARLY

A bunch of kids who didn't actually sign up for the class decided to show up anyway to see if they could get in. They also decided to SIT IN ALL THE CHAIRS EVER, so I had to stand for four hours. YES I AM COMPLAINING, THIS IS IMPORTANT STUFF MAN.

Well, technically, I only stood for the first hour, but after that my back hurt too much, so I had to sit on the floor. Problem with that is, I'M TOO SHORT, so I couldn't see the board when I was on the floor. That makes sense, I guess. All we were doing was review, so, lucky, BUT STILL. Tomorrow I can't afford to not see the board.

THAT MEANS I'M WAKING UP EVEN EARLIER so I can get there sooner and get a seat.

If I do that and there's STILL nowhere to sit, I'm going to be very, very mad. Like, spontaneously-combust and/or lose-control-of-my-bladder mad.

Probably "and".

But the main point is that I am alive.

As in, not dead.

And not not alive.

And very much not not not dead.

Except I just looked at the homework and uh



oh god WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MYSELF

I'm dead, guys. I'm dead. Guys. I'M DEAD.

Writing About Writing Again

It's still way early in the day by my standards, but I feel like I need to keep posting on a regular basis or else I'll just go on another spontaneous hiatus. SO, UH.

It's certainly no secret that I write. A lot. But what I don't think most people know is just HOW MUCH my "Writing Projects" folder is overrun with pieces of plot and random chapters that have no place to go, really. Well, recently I thought I should, maybe, I don't know, try to do something about that. Like organize or something? So I made a new folder (ANOTHER ONE ;;;) and aptly named it ORPHANED PLOT-BABIES.

But what I didn't realize until now was just how many orphaned plot-babies I have. So this new folder has basically become the equivalent of a hospital/church doorstep upon which I can drop my unwanted or unneeded plot points until they grow up and suddenly become interesting again.

...I FEEL LIKE A TERRIBLE PERSON.

"Plot babies" is probably the wrong term to use here, because it implies that these babies have plots. Most of them don't really have any direction or discernible end in mind, which is what makes them so difficult to work with.

Like, for example, the I-don't-know-HOW-old superhero verse in which the main character is just a regular cop who doesn't have any extraordinary powers but still somehow manages to stop more crime than the people who do, and is then promptly named a supervillian for thwarting said people's attempts to BE SUPER.

LIKE SERIOUSLY WHAT IS THAT EVEN

WHERE IS THAT GOING

HOW DID THAT EVEN BECOME AN IDEA



Or that one random period piece about pirates actually being pirates who do bad things? Yknow, that one where I did an inordinate amount of research for? Not even NaNoWriMi could wrench a workable plot from out of that one.

BRAIN, WHY ARE YOU MY BRAIN

PLEASE GO BE SOMEONE ELSE'S BRAIN

Or, or, ok, what about the one about the crazy guy who kidnaps random people and forces them to commit crimes for him, all because he thinks there's this huge government conspiracy and the only way to expose it is to, I don't know, rob banks and kick puppies.

..I just reread that paragraph and I don't even know what to say.


WHY

I-...um.

Ninjas.

I'll just have to add ninjas. Yes, that will fix this problem.

I mean, at least I'm never bored. But still. GIVE ME SOMETHING I CAN WORK WITH, BRAIN.

On the school front, I have a little over a week before I start my Calculus class, which means goodbye writing time! MAYBE IT'S FOR THE BEST. Maybe I'll end up writing a horror story involving Calculus.

Oh wait. THAT WOULD BE MY AUTOBIOGRAPHY.



I actually drove to the campus yesterday to see how long it would take me, and it's a little over 15 minutes. Also, I, uh, wanted to find the classroom so I wouldn't be lost on the first day. I have a real talent for getting lost, though, so I'll probably still find a way to get turned around. But, just, not as bad as I WOULD have.

I'm going to stop this now, or else I'll just start writing about writing again, haaa ;;;

P.S. This is probably the most I've ever said about specific things I'm writing. I'm terribly secretive about it! It's like a painting, kind of, not really. But a painter wouldn't want anyone to see the bare bones of their work before it's finished, right?

Also, I was considering posting this year's NaNoWriMo stuff on my blog (whenever/if-ever that happens), but I'd hate to junk up your blog feed with "AND TODAY, OUR MAIN CHARACTER HERP DE DERP GOES TO THE STORE TO BUY SOME FLOUR BECAUSE HE IS OUT OF FLOUR AND HE WANTS TO MAKE A CAKE".

Except I would say exactly that, but in 2000 words...