Calculus: IT BEGINS

TODAY I WENT TO CALCULUS

AND THEN I GOT OUT OF CALCULUS

ALIVE

CLEARLY

A bunch of kids who didn't actually sign up for the class decided to show up anyway to see if they could get in. They also decided to SIT IN ALL THE CHAIRS EVER, so I had to stand for four hours. YES I AM COMPLAINING, THIS IS IMPORTANT STUFF MAN.

Well, technically, I only stood for the first hour, but after that my back hurt too much, so I had to sit on the floor. Problem with that is, I'M TOO SHORT, so I couldn't see the board when I was on the floor. That makes sense, I guess. All we were doing was review, so, lucky, BUT STILL. Tomorrow I can't afford to not see the board.

THAT MEANS I'M WAKING UP EVEN EARLIER so I can get there sooner and get a seat.

If I do that and there's STILL nowhere to sit, I'm going to be very, very mad. Like, spontaneously-combust and/or lose-control-of-my-bladder mad.

Probably "and".

But the main point is that I am alive.

As in, not dead.

And not not alive.

And very much not not not dead.

Except I just looked at the homework and uh



oh god WHAT HAVE I DONE TO MYSELF

I'm dead, guys. I'm dead. Guys. I'M DEAD.