In Which I Whine About Everything!

You know that feeling when you're going to be late to that really important thing, but everyone in front of you is walking reaaallllyy slowly and/or walking in huge horizontal groups that can't be passed? So you're just walking there trudging your feet like

YOU ARE A TERRIBLE HUMAN BEING

But I only had one class today, which makes Monday my easiest day of the week by far. So I finally get to class and I sit down and I'm like

OK I'M HERE WE CAN START THE LECTURE NOW
GUYS I'M HERE IT'S COOL YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO WAIT FOR ME
GUYS
G...WAIT
...GODAMNIT I'M 10 MINUTES EARLY

And I mean I guess that's a good thing but. Still. Do not want awkwardly waiting for class to start. You can't just lay your head down and nap like in high school--this is COLLEGE. If you come to class and the first thing you do is NAP, people think you're DRUNK or something. Or, I guess, were studying really hard for some test or something. BUT I DON'T KNOW WHICH ONE THEY'RE THINKING
So I went with awkward waiting.


Then that class ended so I was like WEEEEEEEEEW FREEDOMMMMM, so many things to do, I am going to be the most productive member of society today, oh yes, you bet, I am going to do ALL the things and and and

LOL NOPE

I came home, ate like fifty baby snickers, and DIED ON MY BED

By the time I woke up, I realized I had like an HOUR till I was supposed to meet my chem group to do our lab reports. So I grabbed all my notes and other pertinent information and was like KNOWLEDGE ABSORPTION GOGOGO

I am a robot and I have no soul. ONLY KNOWLEDGE.

And so I walked out my front door, ran down the stairs to the ground floor, looked outside and thought WAIT.

IT'S KINDA RAINING.

I mean kinda kinda but, still. My first thought after that was UMBRELLA-MODE, ACTIVATE.

(which simply involves me running back upstairs to get an umbrella and then opening it dramatically in the street)

20 minutes of walking later, I made my glorious arrival at the library where we were supposed to meet. YES.



Except I still had like 10 minutes to wait. MORE AWKWARD WAITING. Finally I texted the girl in my group who had organized the whole thing, only to find out that the other two people in the group had...

(wait for it...)

...CANCELLED ON US

MY CREYS ;_;

But I determined not to let that ruin our super duper lab meeting, so for the next hour or two we basically finished THE WHOLE DAMN PAPER like a pair of BOSSES
 
But then when I stepped outside to start walking home, LO AND BEHOLD

SHITSTORM

OF WATER

FROM THE SKY

WHAT IS THIS SORCERY

It was also dark out by this point, so I was like UUUUUHHH IT IS A DARK AND STORMY NIGHT AND THERE ARE A BUNCH OF DRUNK/HIGH KIDS STUMBLING AROUND THE STREETS.

Do not want :C  But then my mom reminded me about this "safe ride" thing whose slogan is basically "Don't want to get brutally murder on your way home at night? WE'LL DRIVE YOU HOME INSTEAD ;D "

So I called! And called. And called. Clearly there was a massive influx of potential murder victims tonight, because the LINE WAS BUSY FOREVER. After waiting way too long for the line to open, I thought SCREW THIS, I'M JUST GONNA WALK HOME LIKE A BAMF AND I WILL DEFINITELY NOT DIE EVER

..and commence with the walking! All the while, pulling my hood over my head and tugging at my shirt like BOOBS? WHAT BOOBS? CLEARLY I AM A MANLY MAN OF THE MANLIEST VARIETY AND, YKNOW, DEFINITELY NOT WORTH MURDERING. NOPE.

And then rain continued to fall. The streets were literally full of water up to my calves, and I had to walk hella slow to keep my flimsy shoes from flying off. My umbrella was keeping me dry though (I had made sure to activate umbrella-mode before leaving the library), until SUDDENLY

A WILD SPEEDING CAR APPEARS!

BUGGUH CAN'T ESCAPE!




SPEEDING CAR USED DRIVE THROUGH HUGE PUDDLE OF WATER!

IT'S SUPER EFFECTIVE!

 

No ok so, I didn't get hit by the car, but, STILL. I GOT HIT BY SUPER STREET WATER. I looked like I'd just jumped into a pool! There was street water in my nose! IN MY MOUTH. And what the hell is sight? I SEEM TO HAVE LOST IT.

I spent the rest of the walk with my umbrella held sideways to protect me from hella speeding-car puddle splashes. When I finally got home, I was just like WATER EVERYWHEEERRREEEEE



I also took my pants off immediately.

Actually..

I don't really know where I put them anymore.

...