Monday, October 17, 2011

Midterms

The virtual fish app on my phone keeps reminding me, "Did you know you can change the name of your fish?"

My fish's name is Moose...

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I DON'T CARE.

But back to stuff that matters: MIDTERMS

SO MANY MIDTERMS

TWO MIDTERMS.

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I finished the first one in 10 minutes. I got a 74 on it.

Now, I'm still doing the calculations on this, but I'm starting to suspect that the speed in which a test is completed is directly proportional to the grade you get on it. This is groundbreaking, revolutionary mathematics I'm dealing with here so I'm afraid I can't definitively say "yay" or "nay" just yet. I need to tweak the quantum physics and double check my long division and

yes physics is involved shut up

I SHOULD HAVE AN ANSWER IN 9 YEARS. But by then I'll be out of school and will therefore have no use for it. So to save myself the trouble, I'm just gonna quit working on this equation and continue to work on the assumption that I can do whatever I want, always.

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 Sounds like a good plan to me.

As for my second midterm, the one for my Chemistry class, I spent 55 minutes out of the 60 I was given to work on it. When I got to the testing room I was like OH LOOK, AN EMPTY AISLE SEAT

THAT SHIT IS PRIME REAL ESTATE IN AN AUDITORIUM. So I like BOOK IT over there as fast as my tiny baby feet cold carry me.

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I got there JUST in time, too, because almost all the other seats were filled up by within minutes. So I'm sitting there, immeasurably proud of my achievement, and realize "Oh hey I should probably start filling out the information on this test sheet, huh."

And I reach over the arm of the seat to pull up the little desk extension and

IT WASN'T THERE. I reached around some more and, no, there was definitely NO DESK EXTENSION

So now I'm like WELL SHIT. I could use my binder to write on, but what if they thought I was cheating? Insta-fail, plus a mandatory "how to not cheat" class. DEFINITELY not doing that. So what did I do?

Sat there.

The test was starting soon, and just as I was about to swallow my pride and ask one of the TA's what the hell I was supposed to do, LO AND BEHOLD, I accidentally eaves-dropped on someone and heard that there were stupid little clipboards by the entrance for kids like me who jumped too soon at the prospect of an awesome seat only to be let down by the piss poor deal I ended up with.

So I got that clipboard and was like AW YEAH, I AM SO READY TO KILL THIS TEST, NOT EVEN THE MATH PARTS CAN SCARE ME, NOT WITH MY HANDY DANDY CALCULATOR AND

wait shit

I DON'T HAVE MY HANDY DANDY CALCULATOR.

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But wait! I'm not TOTALLY screwed, right? I mean, I can still do the math on paper! Of course! Haha! That's totally still an option!

No, not it's not. This is ME. Sure, if I need to I can do some pretty complicated math, but it takes me a hell of a long time. AND I DIDN'T HAVE TIME. What I DID have was my amazing multiple-choice-test-taking skills I'd gained in high school.

And so I totally had to bullshit my way through a couple of the questions with the logic that HMM, THIS NUMBER SHOWS UP TWICE IN THE ANSWERS, ONCE NEGATIVE, ONCE POSITIVE...

Eeny meeny miny moe...

POSITIVE, GOT IT, MOVING ON.

If I do poorly on this test, at least I have an excuse...?

Anyway, even if I DO do really terribly, it's not like that's ever stopped me before! My ego could power the whole damn country! It just, yknow, chooses not to.

With that, I think I've rambled enough. I'm going to stare at the NaNoWriMo countdown a little while longer and then go NIGHNIGHS.

Happy nighnighs to all of you reading this late at night. Or, hell, in the middle of the day, even.

ALL NIGHNIGH, EVERY NIGHNIGH. Sleep well, people!

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