If anyone out there has ever laughed off bowling as a legitimate workout, THEY HAVE CLEARLY NEVER BOWLED FOR FOUR HOURS STRAIGHT. Alternatively, they HAVE, and they felt NOTHING, which just ends up making me look like a CHILD.
STILL. MY BODY. OW.
In other news, yknow those dog food bowls that have a container of food on top of them? The kind that fill themselves up after the dog has eaten enough? We bought one of those today for my dog.
My dog, if you don't know, is the one that eats almost anything and everything you give her and won't stop eating until there is nothing left. All of this is done faster than you can shout "OH MY GOD NO STOP THAT ISN'T FOOD WHAT THE HELL YOU ARE SUCH AN ASS WHY WOULD YOU EAT THAT OH MY GOD WHY"
We gave that dog a self filling food bowl. She's a nervous dog, so first she was like WHAT THE BALLS IS THIS
But then she was like OH MY GOD I CAN EAT FOREVER
And then of course, the actual act of eating forever
This went on for something like ten minutes, but then she was all OH MY GOD WAIT WHAT IS AIR
And for the rest of the day she just looked FAT. She's a pretty fit dog, but oh my god, everytime I looked at her I was just like OH MY GOD YOU'RE SO FAT and she was just like
We took her for a walk later, but the whole time she was DRAGGING and being SO SLOW. I felt bad at first, but then I remembered SHE DID THIS TO HERSELF and that it was a learning experience for both of us. I learned not to take fat dogs for walks, and she learned not to be a fat dog.
DOUBLE VICTORY.
I would write more, but it's 2:40 AM, and I took a Star Trek break in the middle of writing this so I don't feel like continuing anymore. I guess that's what happens when you blog at this time of night. Or, day. I don't even know ;;;
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