Idiot Luck

Sometimes I forget just how often I use capslock. Sorry if it feels like I'm YELLING AT YOU IN MY MAN VOICE all the time. But that's not a promise to stop, I'm just acknowledging the fact that it may cause you distress.

I WILL NEVER STOP YELLING IN MY MAN VOICE.

AND SO. Today was certainly...interesting. I knew we had a test in AP Gov, but I thought it was just multiple choice. I GUESS I MISSED THE MEMO but we also had to do a free-response essay. Which is FINE I just wasn't expecting it at all, so when the teacher announced that we were starting the essay portion I was like DA HELL, looking around all frantic

But everyone else was all like

I feel like I did an...adequate job. Which is to say, I didn't FAIL, but I don't think my work was particularly praiseworthy either. I WAS TIRED and I was too focused on my SEP presentation anyway, which was due my next class.

So I get to my study hall, settle into my seat, and suddenly I realize WAIT HANG ON A SECOND HOW THE HELL AM I SUPPOSED TO PRESENT. Because I'd FORGOTTEN MY JUMP-DRIVE that had the presentation on it. Soooo, I kept waiting for the teacher to get to class, nervous as hell, and finally the teacher walks in and I'm like

But then I realize it's NOT my teacher, it's a SUBSTITUTE teacher which means I DIDN'T HAVE TO PRESENT ANYWAY.

I will never, ever understand my bizarre luck. This kind of stuff happens all the time. I'm running late for school and OH HEY I hit every single green light EVER. It's like I get rewarded for being an idiot.

SO I went on to Trig on a happy and relieved note FOR ONCE. Though, I feel like the class is becoming less and less "Trigonometry" and instead becoming more and more "Foreign Language". I catch "words" here and there, but I can't put sentences together for CRAP. But today I was like MAN WHATEVER I DON'T EVEN CARE because I am an idiot, and the fact that I have still somehow managed to survive this long is MAYBE A MIRACLE.

SO I AM NOTHING BUT THANKFUL FOR MY IDIOCY. And anyway, I'll just ask the internet about it later, so. WHO NEEDS A TUTOR, I'VE GOT YOUTUBE.

Then the bell rings, I hop up, and I'm walking down the hall to exit the building. Cool, nothing out of the ordinary. But then this kid comes running down the hall--on crutches. He's straight up RUNNING on CRUTCHES. So, keeping my poker face on, I kept going, but then all of a sudden this OTHER guy runs up to the crutches kid and straight up PUSHES HIM OVER. Like...STRAIGHT UP:

And I was just like HOLY SHIT WHAT THE HELL THE GUY'S A CRIPPLE DUDE THAT'S JUST--NO YOU CROSSED THE LINE WHY AM I LAUGHING THIS SHOULDN'T BE FUNNY.

All with my poker face still on, by the way. But it turns out the cripple kid wasn't even crippled, he was just playing with crutches, and the guy who pushed him over was his friend. BUT STILL dude, without knowing what the hell was going on, that was like the most bizarre thing I've ever seen, maybe.

Also, I think I'm ditching school tomorrow. But it's for a doctor's appointment, so it's not really DITCHING since I would have had to miss two out of three classes anyway. Also, it was my dad's idea for me to just skip school altogether, so, totally not my fault.

And now, this is fantastic:

INSTA-GHETTO.

You always see those bumper stickers like "I can go from normal to bitch in 5 seconds", but this guy can go from respectable to STRAIGHT UP GHETTO in 3.

So, right, expect an astonishingly lackluster post tomorrow, since I'll be doing absolutely nothing all day. I'M OUT.