Dumbest Schedule Ever

I just wanna say that my internet was running SO GODDAMN SLOW while I was typing this. It's amazing I finished it at all.

Today was the most stupidest dumbest retardedest school schedule. It was a half-day, and we had every single class...for 35 minutes and that was IT.

WHAT CAN YOU LEARN IN 35 MINUTES? Well let me tell you.

In AP Literature, you can learn:

Nothing. But you never learn anything in AP Literature. Why would you? It's only an ADVANCED PLACEMENT COLLEGE LEVEL SENIOR ENGLISH CLASS.

We took a practice multiple choice test though, which is probably the most work we've done this whole quarter. So I...guess that's a win? Wait no THAT'S A FAIL, that means we only do WORK on "off" days with only 35 minutes in class.

...ONTO SECOND PERIOD.

In AP Government, you can learn:

About Congressional subcommittees. Whoa what! Yes, we actually did work! AND LEARNED SOMETHING!

FOUR FOR YOU GOV CLASS. YOU GO GOV CLASS. I approve of time well spent.


Segway into third period! Sadly, not on an actual segway, but, yknow, what can you do?

In Spanish 2, you can learn:

How to sing Juan Gabriel's "No Tengo Dinero".

Yeah we pretty much listened to awesome music the whole time. RELEVANT awesome music. That's a win. That's a definite win.


NEXT CLASS GO.

In FREAKIN TRIGONOMETRY, you can learn:

How to not cry whenever you do Trigonometry problems by cleverly disguising those problems as a super CONNECT THE DOTS game.

Yes seriously we did a little "connect the dots to complete the picture" worksheet a la KINDERGARTEN. Oh Trig, I may be a math retard, but I still know Trig work when I see it. But it was an interesting way to do the work, and it didn't feel like time wasted. So today? WIN. Today was a math win.


FINAL CLASS COMMENCE.

In AP Biology, you can learn:

How to match suspects' DNA to a sample found at a crime scene.


Except our crime scene DNA didn't show up on our gel electrophoresis attempts... Fail? Well, yes, but the class was still a WIN. Also, someone brought a cake to class and told us to eat it cause they didn't want to carry it to work after school.

SERIOUSLY ARE YOU SERIOUS

That shit was GONE within literally MINUTES. Wow. AP Bio kids can do WORK on free cake.


Speaking of AP Bio, I had till 12AM to do an online practice test today. I JUST remembered this at like 10:40, so I was like OH SWEET I'LL JUST DO THIS REAL QUICK AND THEN ALSO FINISH THE GOV WORK ONLINE AFTERWARDS, cause, yknow, I'd just remembered that, too.

GUESS HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO DO THE BIO TEST. I finished, literally, at 11:59.

So I had no time leftover to do the Gov work. But if I hear a WORD of shit about that, bitches gon' get PIMP SMACKED. AP Bio has priority over MY LIFE. It has priority over EATING and stuff. I'd much rather have done the Bio work than the Gov work anyway.

And what's that about "You could have done the work earlier"? WELL THAT'S NOT TRUE, I was too busy catching up on Fringe with my mom to do the work. WATCHING TV WITH MY MOM HAS PRIORITY OVER MY LIFE, TOO.

Yes, I am blaming my mother for this. REMEMBER, NOT A WORD, or I'll go all divabitch on you and come up with some ridiculously elaborate excuse justifying my behavior, and then you'll just feel like an ass.



Anyway, this is what we rocked out to in Spanish class. I swear, I probably heard this all the time as a kid in Eagle Pass. The construction workers always had their music on.