In Which I Am A Poodle

I AM NOW A POODLE.

Hang on, let me explain. So my hair is naturally straight. VERY straight. The few times that I've curled my hair, people were always like "Oh, you didn't straighten your hair today!" and I'm like "UH ACTUALLY--" and then I have to explain and they're always like


Well, now that my hair is a lot longer than I usually have it, I've gotten extremely bored with it. Since I can't cut it, I decided to go in and get a "body wave", which is kinda like a perm, but...well, how about this: let's say that a perm is a Charizard and a body wave is Charmander.

...I don't know what the hell a Charmeleon would be, but let's just run with it for the sake of this analogy.

Anyway, I didn't think to take a "before" picture today, but it looks the same evreyday so I just used an old picture as a comparison (on the left, obviously). BEHOLD, MY HAIR IS NOW COTTON-CANDY:


So yeah, if the next time you see me you mistake me for a poodle, it's OK, I understand.

And I know it's not the best picture, and it's not the same angle as the comparison photo, but I JUST got off the stair climber and I didn't want my tired-ass face distracting you from the POODLE HAIR. Keep in mind that this is what it looks like with a bunch of product that I'll probably never use, and I can still make it pretty straight depending on how I dry it. It's versatile, which is what I was going for, so!

And yeah I'm pretty sure everyone's going to prefer the straight hair but LOOOOOL I don't care if everyone hates it I DO WHAT I WANT


So that was what I did TODAY, but what about yesterday? Yesterday's blog was a cheap mockery and was probably even offensive in it's lack of effort. I APOLOGIZE.

YESTERDAY was Friday. As you know, or should know by now, on Fridays I have TRIGONOMETRY.

Well I get to class and I sit in my happy little corner, and there's this random teacher in the room cleaning stuff off the board. At first I was like DAMN THIS TEACHER IS SLOW AS HELL TO GET TO HIS NEXT CLASS but then all of a sudden he starts writing his name on the board and everyone just STOPS and is like

"...IS HE A SUB?"

And lo and behold, yes, HE WAS A SUB. Not just any sub, though. He was OUR SUB. What did that MEAN for the rest of us? Was he a math sub who was gonna teach us stuff? Or were we doomed to miss a valuable day of LEARNING??

It was the latter. And it IS true that our days are valuable. We have a years' worth of material to cover in one semester so we're always like MAAAATTTHHH TIIIIIIMMMEEEE any chance we get. SO THIS WAS A SETBACK FOR EVERYONE.

The sub does his obligatory introduction, and then tells us we're going to take that quiz we missed. You know, that NOTORIOUS QUIZ that we are NEVER GOING TO TAKE. Well we were actually going to FOR REAL THIS TIME take the quiz.

Even though I was nervous, I felt pretty good since we're allowed to use our notes on quizzes. I'd taken EXTRA GOOD notes the day before in preparation so I was all like


First the sub starts reading off quiz rules, and he's like "No calculators." That's happened before, so it wasn't anything new, but I still like to use my calculator for really dumb shit like adding big numbers so I was like AAWWWW MAAAAAN


Next he's like "No books" and I'm all "Well yes, that would just be stupid to use the book," and I agreed with this rule.


Then finally he gets to the bottom of the test rules and he says "NO NOTES."

And I'm all" Oh well that--WAIT WHAT."


We always, ALWAYS get to use our notes. So people were like "Uhhh are you sure it says we can't use our notes" and the sub holds up his sheet of paper and he's all like THE PAPER SAYS YOU CAN'T SO YOU CAN'T


Except he was a lot more civil than that, obviously. BUT ANYWAY, I sat discreetly in my little corner like


But there was no arguing it: we were going to take the quiz with no notes. That meant I couldn't use my epic sample problems I'd done the day before. THAT MEANT I WAS GOING TO FAIL THIS QUIZ.


But no, no, wait, I DID study while I was making those notes, I MUST be able to remember SOME of it. So I get the quiz, and the first side is a blank Unit Circle. I'm like SWEET I KNOW THIS, so I'm filling in all the blanks and feeling awesome like


And then I turn the page and I see the next problems and I'm like


I recognized the material, but I didn't understand what the hell the questions were ASKING ME TO DO. So I'm 99.9% sure I failed the quiz. MAYBE the Unite Circle part might have bumped me up to a D or a C, but it's definitely not an acceptable grade.

I got home EXHAUSTED and despondent like


BUT THEN LATER IT WAS FINE. I went to eat at Chik-fil-A with my parents, Jess, and Derek, and then we went to see True Grit! I've seen the original 1969 version (with John Wayne in it), so I kinda went into it with a SLIGHT bias for the first film. BUT the new version is actually very good. It apparently stayed more true to the book than the first film did (I say apparently since I've never actually read it), so fans of the 1969 version can't be mad over changes, cause those changes are CANON


Also, I just realized that MATT DAMON was in True Grit. I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT. I know who he IS obviously, but every time I see him I never place the name, and everytime I hear the name, I can never picture his face. So I'm gonna take this opportunity to say I'M SORRY MATT DAMON.

(I also want to say that I had this all typed out and ready to go at a totally decent time, but then my internet DECIDED IT NO LONGER WANTED TO LIVE and completely quit on me. I could only get it working again at 1:20, so IT'S NOT MY FAULT.)